Wifey Put Up the Christmas Tree Yesterday
I hope this year is better
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If you are not familiar with the Philippines, Christmas is a big deal here. So big, in fact, that because September is the first -ber month, Christmas has already begun for us.
Stores and malls have their lights and trees up, and homes everywhere have streamers of lights around the front windows. Everywhere you go the classic light rock has been replaced by Christmas carols.
This used to bother me to no end because I disliked Christmas. I never celebrated growing up because I was a Jehovah’s Witness, and didn’t really make a big deal about it after, except for a few years where the kids were old enough to appreciate the effort.
One of the more memorable years was the holidays in New England. I had a huge house, snow on the ground, a big tree, and decorations. The little picture postcard town had a Christmas festival and the whole town looked like something out of a Hallmark movie.
That may have been the only year I was in the Christmas spirit back then and was a magical year, for me, for my first marriage, for my oldest boys. It was the only time I have even been overwhelmed by the Christmas spirit.
Fast forward, and I lost that house, those cars, that family, and any shred of Christmas spirit I ever had, I was miserable and alone. I spent years a shut-in, my kids visiting when they had to, and I truly though my days of happiness were over.
Fast forward again to 2011, September, and I touch down in the heat of the Philippines to find Christmas has begun, but was still so jaded that I didn’t enjoy it that year.
But as the years passed, the idea of Christmas and the feeling that surrounded it stated to give me warm fuzzies. One year, I even planned to grow my beard out and play Santa at the mall, but decided against it at the last minute. My social anxiety would have killed me if the heat sitting in a big furry suit didn’t first.
But the spirit was there. The Philippines has embraced capitalism, but here, I’ve learned that Christmas is not at all about what you get from other people. Sure, we give little gifts to each other and a few for the kids, but the idea of Christmas is getting together with good food, good Whiskey, and spending the holiday embraced by the community around you.
It’s a beautiful feeling.
But 2020 was a terrible year, and we knew it would be early on. We knew with the lockdown that we couldn’t have our big family gathering, and with the pandemic, we couldn’t even shake hands with our neighbors.
People still put out lights, but the air had been knocked out of the whole country. For my little family, Christmas consisted of food and the four of us trying to be okay with the idea of being cooped up with each other for a year.
It was not a great Christmas, but at least we were together.
So the wifey bought a little Christmas tree and put it on a table next to the TV, and I walked out there last night in the dark to see its little white lights lit up and it took my breath away.
Things are still not great because of the pandemic, but they are getting better. The wife and I will be fully vaccinated by October, as will most of the extended family. They all work in the health care industry so they got theirs early. The wife and I are happy that we got our first, but worry for the kids.
I don’t know what will happen for Christmas this year. The last big family gathering we had, we ended up quarantining the entire family because someone tested positive for COVID-19, but all but the kids are vaccinated now, so we may chance a small group of us.
This Christmas and New year is special because after the holiday, I’m leaving the Philippines for the US and our lives will never be the same. I don’t know where my little family will end up but I think it will be a combination of living in the States and the tropics, but we can sure say that the path I walk as I leave here in January will change our lives forever.
So this Christmas is a celebration of the wife and I being married for ten years, and ten years of healing and calm in the Philippines. This ten years helped me enough to be able to get back into life and start planning for the future again. I finally have plans for my family, for my career, for travel. It’s good to have plans again, because there were a few days were I almost stopped living, and there was a day or two where I tried to end my own life.
This Christmas is a celebration of what we can do when we come together as a family and what can happen when past hurts are left to heal. It’s a celebration of what will happen and of getting a few of the good things in life.
After all we have have been through in this life, this Christmas will be a celebration of us.
