I can't keep my silence any longer. I am so disgusted by how people treat each other every day, especially how men treat women. Why do I have to keep coming back to this topic? I’m tired of it!
It’s an everyday occurrence on Medium and social media to see a man troll a woman, make sexist remarks, mansplain, or assume they are better or more intelligent.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m exposed to more strong and intelligent women every day, or that the worst kind of men feels emboldened by the narcissist-in-chief, but it seems like we can’t blink before a man makes a bad example of himself.
Bullshit Disclaimer: Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of good men out there. There are a lot of us who are being supportive of women and calling out the idiots wherever we see them. I’m not talking about you, so don’t get offended. Yes, we know, #notallmen.
But why does it seem like the idiots outnumber the good men?
Why does it seem we only hear about the bad things that men do?
Twitter is full of entitled men who still think it’s a good idea to send dick-pics to unsuspecting women. Medium is turning into a cesspool of misogynistic mansplainers who get offended when women want to have a say about their reproductive health and are proud to discuss their sex lives or lack thereof.
I thought when I came to Medium that I would be rubbing shoulders with a more intelligent and liberal group of alpha males. Instead, I hear my female writer friends talking about the hate they experience daily from men who think they have everything about women figured out and aren’t afraid to spread venom all over the comments section of every post.
The behavior is so ingrained in society and culture, that when someone tries to challenge the norm, they are shamed and bullied.
The last time I spoke out about men being shitty to women, my Twitter DM’s turned into a battlefield of hysterical men, swearing at me for daring to disparage the male ego. It’s funny that none of these guys were brave enough to say anything in the public feed.
Name-calling is still a thing in bro culture because they called me a pussy, a coward, a fag, and a wimp. I am evidently un-American and whipped by my woman.
Men have always acted the way they do now, and how dare I call men out for being assholes?
The haters come out of the woodwork when you make them see things in themselves that they don’t like. I guess I didn’t read the chapter in the man-manual about not making our gender look bad. I don’t know how many times I’ve had my man-card revoked.
I get it — men had it good. Why do I, and men like me, have to make waves? Men used to be able to say and do whatever they wanted without fear of repercussion. Some men want to keep it that way.
Some men want to abuse and offend without fear. Some want to be able to harass and marginalize without victims speaking out.
The men and women who liked the old ways were speaking up when they put a man like Trump in the highest office of the United States. There are millions of men without any money or power who want to act like him and think by keeping him in office -they can be free to speak and act however they wish.
These are the people (men and women) who complain no one has a sense of humor, and everyone is too politically correct. They long for the old days of Don Rickles and Andrew Dice Clay. They want to bring back the days when good people were subjected to racist, homophobic, and sexist jokes that we were supposed to laugh at even if they offended us.
It’s not that no one has a sense of humor anymore, but we are forcing people to rethink making jokes about things that were never funny in the first place.
But it’s not only the trolls that are the problem. What about the everyday guy, who is either too scared to speak out or doesn’t have enough empathy to see what women must deal with all the time?
For a long time, I was frightened of confrontation. I wasn’t very good at debating, and I always came out looking stupid when I tried to press my point. I avoided conflict like the plague. In some ways, I still do.
I can’t call myself a feminist because I can’t say that I challenge misogyny whenever I see it. When I see blatant sexism, I don’t always stand up and make my voice heard. I’m not always an advocate for change because many times I’m scared of getting involved.
But women don’t have that luxury. They are always involved. They are involved when a man makes an inappropriate comment. They are involved when they are attacked for saying what they really feel. They are involved because they can’t accept a drink from a stranger or walk home alone from a night of partying. Women are still the ones to blame for an assault by a man.
After all, your dress was awful short, wasn’t it?
I’m disgusted by my fellow men and their behavior. I’m angry that society puts me in the same category as someone who acts like there are no consequences for their conduct.
I’ve had enough, guys. Be warned — I’m not the only one.
Many of us aren’t going to take your shit anymore. If you act like an asshole, expect that we will call you out. If you are wrong, don’t expect us to take your side because we have something dangling between our legs too.
It’s time we stopped looking the other way while you abuse women and step on their rights.
There is no going back. It’s time for you to change your ways.
Men need to stop behaving badly.
Male writers of Medium!
Let’s keep this going! Show your support by writing a story or social media post about sexism, misogyny, or bro culture.
Tag a friend who you know would continue the conversation. I’m tagging B. Michael Logan. Whatchu got, bro?
Did you like this? Sign up for my newsletter on Substack!
Jason Weiland is a writer, blogger, vlogger, and mental health advocate living a dream life in far-away destinations he only dreamed of as a kid. He talks about difficult issues but has never lost his sense of humor or willingness to understand others and help when he can.
He would love to connect with you on social media.