Why I’m No Longer Worried I Will Die Broke
My life has taken a turn for the better
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The last few months have been difficult. Not only have I been worried that my health may take a turn for the worse, but I have been struggling to pay back the people I owe who helped me pay for my heart attack. I still owe a few people, but we are slowly getting people back the money they fronted us.
If I must credit anything, besides the huge outpouring from my close friends and family, it was the people who donated to my GoFundMe. Without that, we would have lost our home, and would still be worried about where our next meal is coming from. After I posted my link at the end of a viral story I wrote, people gave in droves and we were able to save everything from being foreclosed.
I still lost my MacBook and my iPhone, but I learned in the process that I really didn’t need those things in the first place. I have a cheap phone and a second-hand laptop and am very happy with how it is working for me. It would be nice to get my battery replaced, but I can manage until I can afford to and have the time to be without my laptop for a few days.
As I said, we haven’t paid everyone back, but we are starting to, and it feels good. We are coming from under the huge payments we had to make to pay off the credit cards we used to pay my medical bill and are just starting to work on an emergency fund again.
Things are looking up.
As far as my health, I am doing great. My new lifestyle has resulted in a huge weight loss, and although I have cheated a few times, for the most part, I have stayed the course. My last two fasting blood sugar tests have been in the normal range instead of showing me as diabetic. My doctor is pleased with my stubbornness and how well my body has been healing.
Since the first week, I haven’t had any chest pains and I have been able to start walking longer distances. The doctor took away my restrictions, even for sex (and I cannot thank him enough). I feel better than I have felt for years, but that may be mostly due to my new diet.
I am working again. I write every day and have been making decent money from Medium and Newsbreak. It’s a small amount, but it helps. I even gained a new coaching client from the comments section of Medium. We have been working on helping her create a creative business for her retirement and after two sessions, are making great headway. I even think that she and I will be forever friends because we are so much alike and want many of the same things.
For a while there, I was feeling negative about my lot in life. I even thought I would never turn my life around and would die a broke man. The way my life has been going, added to the fact that I am a 53-year-old man who hasn’t made a financial success of himself yet, despite my best efforts, I was wondering if anything would ever pan out for me. I was worried that my life would follow the same pattern it had in the past and I would eventually fall under the shadow of my mental illness or my heart problems again.
But, with time and continuing financial success, I now see that my future will be full of success and fulfillment. I am doing work I love, my health is good, and my family is thriving.
What more can I ask for?
I guess that I can ask for more of the same. I would love to be able to continue working as long as I can. I still have my “bad” days, it’s too much to ask for my mental illness to go away completely. I still have days when the voices are loud, and my depression and anxiety respond to the added stress. I still have days where I would rather curl up in bed and sleep the day away.
There is still no cure for the mental illness that almost destroyed my life.
But mostly I am happy and healthy. I mostly wake up ready to face the day, and I can mostly maintain a good mood and motivated ethic.
One good thing that came of my heart attack is that I am no longer a victim of the hustle. I no longer feel the need to push and push until I almost break, just to get a little further ahead of the game. Now, I focus on the things that make me happy, instead of killing myself to be like Gary Vee.
My life is full of joy, and despite the hiccups, we make the most of the good weather.
I guess I am like a ship far from the harbor, searching for my future, hoping for the best, and relishing the good times and calm seas.
All I can hope for is smooth sailing.
For a little backstory, see where it started:
