Who, me? (Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash)

Why I Don’t Have Any Friends in Real Life

And why it’s not sad at all

When I tell people that I don’t have any close friends in real life, they think it’s sad. A 50-year-old man without any best friends is an anomaly, I guess. Everyone assumes there must be something very wrong with me.

Maybe there is.

It’s not that I’ve never had friends. In my teenage years, there was Frank. When I started spreading my wings in this world, there was Paul and Jennifer. Later, Gabe and Tracy were very close.

Like these things often do, I moved on, they moved on. Some of them I still talk to on Facebook, but that is about it. They have a new set of friends, and I live on the other side of the planet. I’m not sad, because what we had was wonderful.

I have great memories of the friends I’ve had in my life.

Why don’t I have any friends now? I don’t want any. They are way too much trouble at this point in my life.

What are friends anyway?

When I had friends, I tended to be very close to them. We spent time together; we ate, we partied. I told them my deepest secrets, and they told me theirs. We were like peas in a pod.

In a pod! (Photo by Lukas Budimaier on Unsplash)

Friends are a beautiful thing for most of your life.

But, I don’t seem to find friends because I’ve gotten to an age and a mindset where I am not as forgiving as I used to be. I have a hard time tolerating bullshit. Fake people disturb me.

It’s not like I haven’t tried hard to find friends. I’ve had a few since I moved here to the Philippines. A couple of them turned out to be people I couldn’t tolerate. One was using me so I would help him run his child pornography ring (he is rotting in jail now).

I haven’t had much luck finding people I liked, so how am I going to find someone I want to be best friends with?

Now, I don’t even try anymore. My best friend is my wife, and I like it that way. I know I can tell her anything and she won’t judge me. She knows all my dark secrets. She knows more about me than anyone on this planet. 😊

I sometimes wish my wife would find some women-type friends she could talk to, but she seems to be happy with me for now.

I don’t feel the need to have friends because I don’t have time for anyone else right now. I spend my days writing and hustling. I am building websites and social profiles. I am creating graphics and teaching myself to be a better writer.

I hardly have time to do the things I need to do to be successful. Why would I waste my time trying to make someone else happy?

But wait! Let’s talk about Facebook friends

One thing I have plenty of right now are Facebook friends. Most of the ones that talk to me are writers. FB friends are nice because they don’t need face time and they don’t ask you to do things you have no time for.

I love the people who I interact with on FB because most of them are on Medium too. Most of us are working towards the same things, so it gives us common ground. Post the word “curation,” and I get plenty of response.

I also have friends from mental health groups I’ve belonged to and people I’ve met here and there along the way. People come, people go. Sometimes they comment, sometimes they “like” something.

There is no pressure to be something we are not.

No pressure buddy! (Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash)

The future?

There is no telling what the future will hold. I have a few FB friends that may turn out to be more. We will see. If they don’t, it’s okay too. I am not everyone’s cup of tea.

One day I may turn around and have several best friends. If I do, I will be the best friend I can. If not, I am going to keep enjoying my life and doing what I’m doing.

For now, I have my wife and my daughter, and that will be enough.

I am a simple person, and simple things make me happy.

I guess, whatever you do, if you are happy, you have it all!

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Jason Weiland is a writer, blogger, vlogger, and mental health advocate living a dream life in far-away destinations he only dreamed of as a kid. He talks about difficult issues but has never lost his sense of humor or willingness to understand others and help when he can.

He would love to connect with you on social media.

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Introverted essayist and creator- I am doing it my way and it might take a bit longer. Don't wait up! https://jasonjamesweiland.com

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