To tell you the truth, Ellen, I didn't know the severity of the problem until I read this Establishment article and started reading some of the references.
You have to understand: 10 years ago I was in terrible shape, and my attitude towards women was a product of the country I grew up in. IN my essay, I said I had heard of the mail order bride industry and women from the Philippines, but I didn't look at what I was doing as part of that. It was a dating site, where both parties could choose or turn down anyone they wished. I didn't pay for a bride, I wanted a partner.
But, from what I am seeing, its men like me who are the problem. I turned out just to be a nice guy with a mental illness, but other men are predators and abusers, and a danger to any woman they are near. They can bypass the filters of society that many catch when in a normal dating situation. But, if you order a bride online, there is none of that.
I only knew of the Filipinas that took advantage of the men and took all their money, but as I spend more time here in the Philippines and talk to more expats, I see cases of men being abusive, racist, and misogynistic.
You are right that this is a layered topic. I am going to dive into a lot more and write the article maybe you and a few others were expecting. As I said, I am trying to be more "woke" for lack of a better word, and this is an issue that not only I can learn about myself, but help others to understand the issues as well.
I have a unique perspective and I like to share that, but I also don't want to write things that marginalize other people.
Thanks for the inspiration!