Happy is a Myth — Be Fulfilled

Why does everyone always tell us we need to be successful and happy?

We all know life is complicated, and there are many times we stop and ask ourselves, “What’s going on?” Sometimes, it all seems like a game we are losing, or a journey, once started, that never ends.

How often do we wonder why our life didn’t turn out as we planned in those visions we had when we were innocent children? We might be feeling stuck and wondering why all our dreams never materialized.

Many of us are still trapped in a dead-end job, working 40, 50, even 60 hours a week for a check that barely lasts until you get the next one. Maybe we are lonely and wonder why we haven’t met anyone special. Are we unhealthy and wish we could change our habits? Are we stuck in a place we don’t want to live, surrounded by a mass of people, noise, and pollution — dreaming of sitting on the beach somewhere tropical?

Are we still doing the same things, day in and day out, hoping your life will change by itself?

Tell me if this sounds like us:

We are afraid to leave the job we hate because we think we can’t find anything better. We have bills, student loans, credit card debt, and surprise — we have to eat! We haven’t met anyone special because we are too busy or don’t feel like we are wealthy enough, good-looking enough, or have anything to offer. We haven’t started to eat healthier because we need to buy that book, or join the gym next week, or shop for better food. We don’t live where we want because we live in fear of the unknown. We are stuck and blocked because we are afraid to take action because we are constantly thinking of the worst-case scenario.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is we are not alone! Many of us feel the same way, and it’s normal to find ourselves in this situation. But the bad news is it might be normal, but it’s not okay! Being stuck and staying that way is no one’s fault but our own.

Do we want a better career or our own business? Do we want love and companionship? Do we say we don’t want to be unhealthy and fat? Do we keep telling ourselves that we will travel next year when things are better?

The problem is we keep accepting things the way they are, no matter how bad it is. We do this because change is difficult, and it’s sometimes easier to accept things how they’ve always been.

I need money!

Why are we unhappy with our current jobs? It’s because working for someone else stinks on ice! We have less time every day to do the things we want because they are expecting more and more from us for the same pay.

Maybe we went to college and chose the job we find ourselves in because (1) we thought we could make a lot of money and have the freedom to enjoy it, or (2) someone told us what career path we should take (parents, advisor).

We took out huge student loans, finished college, and are now working hard to pay it off. But it never seems like the balance goes down because the interest is so high.

On top of that, every time we get a little extra money, we go out and finance something we can’t afford because we think owning things will make us happy. We get buried in debt, living with a bunch of stuff we have no time to enjoy. Worse, now that we have all this debt, we fear we can’t pay it off if we tried to follow our dreams.

Photo by Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

We are not comfortable being alone

Now that we are so busy, we have no time for anything else, and we are lonely because we’ve convinced ourselves that we need another person to make us complete. We haven’t met anyone, and our social life is a disaster!

We feel we are not meeting anyone because we don’t have enough money, possessions, or we aren’t good-looking enough. Maybe we are afraid to take that first step and introduce yourself?

Whatever the reasons, we are alone and miserable, and don’t see our situation changing anytime soon.

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

I’m going Keto!

Now that we are working too much to pay off all the crap we own, we haven’t seen the inside of a gym in ages. Worse, depression has us in its grip because we are alone, so we’ve been eating too much of the wrong kinds of food, and are unhealthy and overweight.

Our lists of excuses why we can’t eat healthier are growing. We are afraid to step on the scale or look in the mirror because we don’t recognize the person we’ve become.

We can see how not taking action in one part of our life feeds into the other parts. Soon, not just one part of our life is unsatisfying, but all of it.

Photo by Megan Thomas on Unsplash

I’ll travel next year

Guess what? There is no next year for us because we keep putting off our dreams. That’s how people work for 40 years and expect to have an exciting life when they retire, only to find they are broke and worse off than when they were younger.

Why should we wait until we are too old or don’t have any energy to do the things we want to do?

Ask any older person if they think they are living their Golden Years. What do you think they will say?

Photo by Matthew Bennett on Unsplash

How did we get here?

We can’t sit still and accept things the way they are anymore if we ever hope to have a better life.

By better, I don’t mean rich. We need money, but does money mean anything besides a tool to get food, shelter, and sustinence?

When I say better, I mean satisfied with what we are doing with our time and who we are doing it with. Better is feeling fulfilled and satisfied with our lives. Better is feeling wonderful every day, physically and emotionally.

Better is visiting or living where we want, without having to answer to anyone.

Better is the freedom to be ourselves and to pursue what makes us whole.

How can we be better?

I was completely and utterly unfulfilled.

I was mentally ill, overweight, unhealthy, a shut-in, had no social life and was broke. My life started difficultly and only got worse as I got older. I was over 40 years old and had been through hospitalizations, addiction, bankruptcy, layoffs, and divorce.

My life was horrible, and I was unable or unwilling to change it.

But, I got so tired of life that I did change. It was either change or die, so what do you think I did? When I hit rock bottom, I looked up and decided that if my life were to transform, I would be the one who was going to do it.

So, I took action — drastic action.

Now, every day, I experience smiles and joy. I spend my days entertaining my 7-year-old daughter, my 3-month-old son, and doing what I love — writing. I’m working on building a business around my writing so I can continue my simple and comfortable life.

Sometimes, you’ll find me sitting on the beach in my adopted home, the Philippines.

It wasn’t easy to get here, but it all started with a firm decision to change my life to a better one.

She had a hard life

My old friend, Alexa, is an entertainer. She spends her days in sunny California eating healthy, doing yoga, and making the music she loves.

But her life wasn’t always so rosy.

When Alexa was 13, her brain began to bleed, and she needed surgery. She made it through her trauma by listening to music and singing along with her iPod.

Also, at age 10, she developed cystic acne, and because of that, and the fact that while her peers were partying, she was learning to dance and sing, she always felt disconnected and different.

She moved from Florida to New York to pursue her music career but was always troubled by her acne and the medications the doctors gave her to treat it. Her life felt like it was at a standstill.

So, what did she do? She took drastic action.

Alexa went off the medications to treat her skin that made her sick and started a healthier lifestyle. She moved to California to further her music career and is now helping others who have dealt with the pain of brain surgery. She also helps people with cystic acne treat it more healthily, without drugs.

Her music career is taking off, and she is living a fulfilled life doing what she loves. She is a beautiful human being.

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Take drastic action

Are you fulfilled?

If you’ve read this far, I’m betting you’re not. I hope you see that your life can be better and you can have satisfaction if you start with one thing:


Stop accepting things the way they are — until you’ve made it to the end and realize that you never lived at all. If you want change to happen, you have to do something about it.

No one can do it for you.

Imagine yourself on a beach, knowing you’re no longer a 9-to-5 slave, sipping your favorite drink with someone you love. You are comfortable and healthy and satisfied with your life and the simple things you own.

It is not just a dream.

It can happen if you are willing to do something about it.

Do you want to get exclusive (content)? Sign up for my newsletter, Beautifully Broken, and let’s talk about what makes life worth living, or if you prefer to read about travel, you can check out my blog, The Frightened Traveler.

Introverted essayist and fulltime YouTuber | Dreamer - I am doing it my way and it might take a bit longer. Don't wait up.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store