Am I Dense?

I always have to look up the terms.

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I feel like I am getting to the age where I can truly say I am old — case in point: I will be engaged in reading something on the internet, maybe from a younger-type person, and they use a word or term I have no clue about. This usually happens on Twitter, where everyone is trying to be unique and edgy.

I found the Urban Dictionary and use it only to educate myself about the language being used these days. I guess as a writer you should know about this stuff, right? I guess if these kids are your audience or niche that is.

Here are just a few of these terms I’ve seen in just the last week that confused the hell out of me:

SJWs

“(Social Justice Warriors) The overly offended, blindly ignorant scum of the internet whom’st report anything and everything that offends them.” Urban Dictionary

I guess everyone hates people like this unless you happen to be one. If you were one, would you admit it? I think not.

Cisgender

“An adjective for someone whose gender corresponds to their assigned sex.” Urban Dictionary

This is one that will come in useful for me because it wasn’t that I didn’t know it because it was slang. I was just ignorant. I’ve always wondered what the opposite of transgender was.

Edgelord

“Someone, especially posting on the internet, who uses shocking and nihilistic speech and opinions that they themselves may or may not actually believe to gain attention and come across as a more dangerous and unique person. Most Edgelords are teenagers trying to seem overly cool and/or over-casually apathetic.“ Urban Dictionary

Good to know there is a word for them. “I’m so tired of these Edgelords on Twitter trying to convince everyone that humans are a plague!

Disadulation

“n. Excessive abuse or criticism. A word created by applying the prefix dis-, meaning the opposite of, to the noun adulation, meaning excessive flattery or admiration.” Urban Dictionary

Would you use this term knowing that many people wouldn’t know what you meant? I kind of understood from looking at the word, but would everyone?

AYFKM?

“Are You Fucking Kidding Me?” Urban Dictionary

This is great for text messaging, tweeting, or chatting. Alternatively, it can be used as a hashtag. #AYFKM

Buffet squirrel

“One who secretly packs away items from a buffet into a bag, purse, or satchel for later consumption.” Urban Dictionary

Yes, in my life I have been known to be a buffet squirrel. I mean, when you see all that delicious sweet and sour, how can you not take some for later?

Dog Walk

“(verb) When you’re beating someone’s ass, and you’re dragging them as if you were walking a dog.” Urban Dictionary

I was confused when Cardi B (surprised I know who she is?) said she was going to dog walk someone on Twitter. Once again, my age is showing. (Also, she didn’t say it, she tweeted it)

Colludy

“The act or predisposition to act in a collusive manner. The willingness to cheat or sneak around to obtain something of value.” Urban Dictionary

I included this because there has to be a case where I could use this in my writing. For example, “Donald Trump has been acting colludy towards the Russians lately.

Trendetarian

A person that cuts a certain food out of their diet because of a trend. Urban Dictionary

How many times could you have used this word in a conversation? Gluten-free much?

Hatfishing

“When someone on a dating site wears a hat in all their pictures to conceal the fact that they are bald.” Urban Dictionary

Ladies? Has this happened to you? Or maybe you are one of the observant ones who realize that bald men are sexy?

Memewashed

“Overexposure of memes to the point that your worldview changes.” Urban Dictionary

Rooster clawed

“When someone scratches someone else with their toenail.” Urban Dictionary

I almost spit coffee across the room when I saw this. “Crap, babe, you rooster-clawed me when we were having sex!

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This exercise has been great fun, but as I’ve found in the past, there are times you need a word and just don’t have an alternative. I can’t wait until I get to use “rooster-clawed.”

What are the words or terms you were confused about?

Written by

Writer | Essayist | Video Content Creator | Future member of the two-comma club | Dreamer - I am doing it my way and it might take a bit longer. Don't wait up.

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